Jasmine
by mutemwija
Summary: A little peek on how Kaiba tries to put his feelings for Atem into words and how Atem is willing to wait until he found the right ones


I just realized I have posted this here^^ But some time ago a friend of mine cried to me about one of her Prideshipping headcanons and I tried to write it out as best I could. We didn't really talk about if this is an AU or not and when it takes place, she just told me about her emotions and I put them into words. So, here you go

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Kaiba's breath caught in his throat as he gazed down on the person lying in the bed. He was sleeping so peacefully, he chest going up and down with each breath he took, lips slightly parted and face relaxed – it was a sight he never had before, a sight he never thought he'd ever see and he stared, _gazed_ at him unblinkingly, freely, longingly. Very slowly he bent down at the side of the bed until he was on eyelevel with Atem. If he'd open them now they'd look each other in the eyes directly and as close as they never had before. A part of Kaiba wanted and waited for him to gaze back at him, to be able to see those beautiful eyes so close to his but he knew it would ruin him if he did.

He shook his head a little at the thought. "I am already ruined." He whispered so quietly he almost didn't catch his own words and before he could stop himself he reached out his hand and tugged a stray strand of soft, golden hair out of Atem's face.

His fingers shook slightly as he did so, partly because he still wasn't sure Atem wouldn't wake up and partly because this was his first time he touched Atem like that. His skin felt a little cold yet so soft under his fingertips and he wanted to feel more of it immediately. " _You_... already ruined me." He finished with the same quiet voice and for the next and this only moment he allowed his walls to come down. Only here in the loneliness, the sanctuary of this dark room with a sleeping Atem as his only witness was he ready to let go. Like a big wave crashing at the shore his suppressed emotions spilled out of their shell and flowed through his whole body, warming his insides and bringing him to life in a whole new way. His breathing quickened just like his heartbeat and the hand that was still lying softly on the side of Atem's face trembled more with every emotion that came to the surface. He gasped for air when Atem stirred again and in the next second he felt like he was choking, like all he harbored for this man lying there was suffocating him, stealing his sanity. He pulled his hands away as if he'd been burned and he rolled his hand into a fist and leaned away from Atem. His breath left him in a soft sigh and he hung as head as he caught his breath again and put his emotions back into their shell.

It was like Pandora's Box, he knew that now. It shouldn't, _couldn't_ be opened so easily, without proper preparation.

He took a deep breath and looked at Atem again. "Not yet." He confessed and just as slowly as he extended his hand he closed the gap between them once more and brushed his lips against Atem's forehead. The touch alone ignited the emotional fire in him once more but he quenched the flame right before it could spread through him once more. "Just a little more." He mumbled to himself, to remind him that there would come a time when he _would_ be ready. He broke away from Atem with an unfamiliar ache in his chest but he ignored it. He has to, just once more.

But still when he reached the door though, he turned around one last time to etch the picture of the sleeping figure into his mind's eye and a faint smile hushed over his lips. "I promise." He whispered and with a swift motion he was out of the door as if he hadn't been there at all.

The moment the door clicked shut Atem opened his eyes, staring at the closed the door with a shiver running through his body. He fixed his gaze on the door and called out to Kaiba in his mind, longing for him to come back and touch him again so much that his heart started to beat painfully heavy against his ribs. A single, hot tear slides out of his eye, trailing halfway over his face and disappearing into his hair, just where Kaiba's hand had been only seconds ago. He curled his hands into fists, clenched his jaw and closed his eyes again, willing his emotions, his _yearning_ to go away until a single word leaves his mouth – an accusation and a hope likewise.

"Idiot."

And just as it left him he felt his heart leaping into his throat and he all but jumped out of the bed, the need to feel Kaiba's touch on his skin again suddenly overwhelming his rational mind.

Just as abruptly as he stood up though, he stopped in front of the door, his hand hovering over the handle, hesitating and trembling slightly.

 _Not yet_ , Kaiba had said _Just a little more._ And as much as Atem longed for the wait to be over, he knew if he made a wrong move now he'd lose Kaiba forever. Purposeful but a little reluctant nonetheless, Atem laid his forehead against the door, silently hoping the barrier separating them would vanish.

"I will be here Kaiba. Whenever you're ready."

Those whispered, tender words didn't go unheard as Atem thought since on the other side of the door, Kaiba was still leaning against it. His eyes were closed and he let his breath out in a huff when his frown slowly changed into a contented smile came on his lips.

He nodded once, knowing that Atem wouldn't see it but _knew_ it either way. They might be on a parallel running road at the moment but Kaiba knew they'd meet soon enough. He couldn't wait for the moment and promised Atem again that he wouldn't take so long anymore.


End file.
